A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. Rectum: Almost killed him I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God. Adam turned over a leaf to make an entry. How do you know your doctor is a vampire? ", A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. 94 Pins 5y M Collection by Mary Sedivy Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Medical Humor A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease. Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound?". Faced with such a brilliant response, we have no possible reply. "The doctor goes back to his office and returns with a pole with an iron hook.The man screams, What are you going to do with that, Doc?The doctor replies, Im going to open some windows.. The first Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Artists, they are so colorful: red Hearts, pink Stomachs, green Spleens." He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Red Blood Count: Dracula, Secretion: Hiding something A dirty double . COPY JOKE. Husband: The doctor said I can touch myself whenever I want. With that particular disease, theres no discomfort of any kind.Oh no! gasped the patient. Im told he made too many rash decisions. I cant pay that before the end of the month!Doctor: OK, then you have six months to live.. The 48+ Best Medical School Jokes - UPJOKE. The stranger says, "How about 20?" What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldnt stop breaking wind?A kite. While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God.Is my time up? she asked him.No, God answered, you still have 40 years, 5 months, and 3 days to live.Upon recovery, the woman felt sublime. *wink wink*. Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound? Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer ", A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. he asked. Nurse to doctor, "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he is invisible.". If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? Barium: What doctors do when patients die. POST. Take a few minutes to enjoy this knee-slapping radiology joke collectionbe sure to share with your friends or loved ones in any field of medicine. One day, a woman walks into a doctors office.She has a cucumber in her nose, a carrot in her left ear, and a banana in her right ear.Whats wrong with me? she asks the doctor.Youre not eating properly, he replies. A doctor and a patient joke; What kind of bees produce milk? Series: World Series of military baseball, Medical Staff: A doctor's cane He's all right now. Vein : Conceited. Examination of genitalia has revealed that he is circus-sized. A Mexican thinks his wife has an affair but she says he is the only Juan. "I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright. You have tennis elbow. ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head.". ", "I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. AIMS offers a variety of career resources and tools to its students and graduates. A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. 10 doctor makes a pig's ear of operation. A notoriously mischievous student in medical college was up to his usual tricks. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctors instructions and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish. Mercury is in Uranus right now. "Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it." 6. Why didnt you save me?I didnt recognize you, God replied. Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak Medical Dirty Jokes. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions. What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldnt stop breaking wind? Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!". 40 Funny Blonde Jokes You Should Probably Never Say Out Loud. A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. If you work in the healthcare field, you'll appreciate these jokes. Why did the doctor take a red pen to work? What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?Shadys back. The doctor takes Why did the sperm cross the road? More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. He needs an infusion whats his blood type?!. Christmas has me feeling Santa-mental. I dont understand what the point of acupuncture is! Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Tell you what, take this $10 bill and buy a new pair!, A bicycle rolls into the doctors office. One liners and short jokes; He said he could feel it in his bones. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra. Having the proper resources to conduct a successful job search can make a big difference. Why does miss piggy douche with honey? Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission. What's the worst part of an apple addiction? The nurse who can smile when things go wrong. A swallow. My love for you is so strong it can't be dialyzed. You make me go from simple squamous to stratified columnar. We think the doctor would do a way better job than us. Days? I cant pay that before the end of the month!. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious! ''I see the problem. He said he could feel it in his bones. -Literally. ", A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months.The woman asked the doctor about her baby.Doctor: "You had twins, a boy and a girl. ", Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn't coming from an artery. ""Yes, says the doctor. "Doctor: "119". The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The serious types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura. "How did you find that doctor was fake? A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up. This is arealstory submitted to a Reddit board: He has very little patients. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill the procedure. Did you hear about the patient that lost his whole left side?No worries, I hear hes all right now! "The surgeon responds, "I know. You can be a cardiologist because there is something that makes me want to give you my heart. Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. Excuse me, are you osteoporosis? Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You must be clozapine because you make me drool uncontrollably. After he handed it to her, he said, I figured it out, so good news patient, well heres your prescription. ", Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards.". This kind of unpleasant experience leaves us to not trust them. That's not how it works! Your arm is broke! Jokes contain a subject and a predicate and very often a direct object. She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for? Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!" Woman on the phone: "My husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do now? A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. Having the proper resources to conduct a successful job search can make a big difference. Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away? i have an imaginary girlfriend.. The other 100% was for doing it through the tailpipe., Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria The serious types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura. ", 8. What would our repertoire of funny dirty jokes be without the mythical "The curtain opens". She said, "Who was that? Any news on how hes doing?, A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.. Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im addicted to brake fluid., Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?He kept feeling jumpy. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. The Daily English Show 1. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. When Im not telling stories, youll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums. These hilarious jokes prove that blondes really do have more fun. Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately?The nearest golf course. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. Why did Dracula go to the doctor?He couldnt stop coffin! Husband: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.. A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Was wilford brimley in yellowstone. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens.". Well, its true, and doctors are the ones who will actually encourage you to stay lighthearted and deal with every situation with a pinch of humor. I cant keep from yawning all day long.. My thermometer just broke. Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.But if I do that, Ill risk getting pneumonia doc, replied the man.I know, said the doctor, but I can cure pneumonia!, One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital? What is awarded to Dentist of the Year?A little plaque. There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friends shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? Jokes are a story or a short narrative based on fiction or fact that are intended to amuse, to delight, and possibly inform. You wouldnt know if you had that. "Mom? The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. When your brain is in absolute overload. Hilariously Inappropriate List of Dirty Jokes How is a woman like a road? Why did the doctor laugh at the x-ray of an arm? A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital one day. "Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine." Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together. Doctor: "d@mmt! When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either. Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus.Doctor: No worries here, that wont happen to me. Why do surgeons wear masks?So that no one will recognize them if they make a mistake. - Will Rogers See TOP 10 doctor one liners. An apple keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough. If not love, dark, dirty humor makes the whole world rolling. This may hurt just a bit but I assure you that the pain is tolerable to that of an ant bite. ", "After my prostate exam, the doctor left. Doctor: 'Yes, of course' Just don't take them too personally. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Returning visitor? A: Only if you aim it well enough. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Why did the robot go to the doctor?It had a virus! I have some bad news and some very bad news which would you like to hear first?Mr. When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. "Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf. ", What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?Are you seeing any change in me?. AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. One day, a man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers. I'm excited Yule be home for Christmas. Doctor, please hurry. Was that vertigo? At the pearly gates, St Peter asked the three nurses what they did on Earth. 11 A Good Medical Joke. -"Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine.". I heard he really made a spectacle out of himself.". Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!, Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im going to die in 59 seconds!, The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?. Whether you're a doctor, nurse, medical or healthcare student, or another member of the healthcare force. ", Patient: They just kept kung fu-ing the door and I kept telling them to stop. After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot. By: Murad ( 0) ( 0) Dolly Parton just got a dose of her own medicine. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. What band was better than The Cure? 18. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money? Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. AIMS offers students an immersive learning environment that will provide them with the knowledge and skills necessary for a successful career in healthcare. He rushes to the emergency room to get help.Give me the fingers and Ill see what I can do! the doctor said.But I dont have the fingers doc!What? A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months. That will be $500." Why wouldnt you bring your fingers? asks the doctor.I couldnt pick them up!. Why did the library book go to the doctor? "Mam: "Wait, what are you trying to say? On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?That depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?An URL-ologist. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. So we started telling people that he'd been killed by a colon parasite. One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. How did the doctor cure the invisible man? Morbid: A higher offer than I bid, Organ Transplant: What you do to your piano when you move 2. Neilas often finds himself lost in making music, sim racing, watching movies, TV Series and playing video games in his free time. If you'd like to enjoy some moremedical humor, one linersandfunny hospital jokes, be sure to check out our collection ofmedical puns. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. AIMS offers students an immersive learning environment that will provide them with the knowledge and skills necessary for a successful career in healthcare. ", "My dermatologist was fired today. you know, you could do better.. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?Three. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. We have to open you back up.Patient: Are you kidding me?! #2. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Dishwasher leak under tile floor; A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send a bill to her husband! Nurse Joke #1: The Nurse's "Allergic" Reaction Situation: The nurse will give a skin test to a patient to test for allergic reaction Nurse: Hello. Dr. Young: "Aaagh! Because you're making me drool. They should help you pass the time., A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionists desk at a doctors office.Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday, she complained.The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital one day. But don't worry, I'll give the good news to your widow. She will rise and shine.. 'Because,' I replied, 'I've got tire marks on my legs. A: He made a spectacle of himself "Doctor: "They're going to name a disease after you. So, if you want to tell some hilarious medical puns or even teach medical puns to your kids check out this article. "He replied, "Neither do I. The emergency physicians turns around and says, "I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure that I hit it.". Medical Dirty Jokes. If you'd like to enjoy some more medical humor check out our10 Humerus Jokes for Allied Health Students. Im dying of curiosity!. My girlfriend's dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I stood on a LEGO!Doctor: Try to block out the pain., Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news. "Doctor deeply sighs and says, "Denephew. You've got your memory back. "He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart. I bet that flute isn't the only thing you know how to blow. What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in? "I will look at him. Pilot left his microphone on. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. He turns to the group and says, "It was too small for a condor, too big for a sparrow. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. He asked, "Can you describe the symptoms?" Because you could ride my lightning. A man having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor. To return Click Here. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. 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My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. 6. What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. ER: The things on your head that you hear with, Genes: Blue denim slacks Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. '", 9. That doesnt mean ignoring your health though. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. After the tremendous noise ceases, the intern uncovers his ears and shouts, "What the hell was that?" ", A man dropped a knife and cut off his toe.After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.Doctor: "I have some good news and bad news. Source: kandanguang84.blogspot.com What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. 80-year Old Joke A Doctor And A Patient Joke Aids Joke Aids Or Alzheimers Joke Annual Check Up Joke Attorney And The Pathologist Joke A Young Doctor Joke Beautiful Joke Brain Reduction Joke Bubba At The Doctor Joke Cars Joke Delivery Joke Desperate Men Joke Diagnostic Computer Joke Doctor Parker Joke Doctor's Funeral Joke Doctors Joke Where? he asked. Error occurred when generating embed. Score: 1. There is no end to the number of fully medical jokes that can be made. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." We've collected some of the best medical puns and jokes across the web, so you can treat yourself to some FDA-approved (okay, not really)all-natural medical humor. A dirty laugh borne out of a dirty joke will help you get by. One day, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. My arms are very tired. ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head. What is a double-blind study?Two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram. Tumor: More than one, an extra pair, Varicose: Near by/close by Love sharing with your friends and family? 4. A man goes into the doctors office and says, Doctor, Ive swallowed a watch. No, thats not an epi-pen in my pants. 11: I run faster horny than you do scared. 3. Causing a person or environment to become unclean. Whats the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what they treat. Source: tabloidindia.com They head back to the male doctor's home and things start getting hot and heavy. Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. A new hybrid. A few drinks later, t A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear!Doctor: Dont worry, I have some cream for that., Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?Doctor: Sell!, What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?Get dressed up the doctor is taking us out!. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine?A pair o docs. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. You can read more about it and change your preferences, "Mom? ", Great for Sept 19th !! Doctor, "Tell him I can't see him.". By queensland university of technology. The punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are. One liners and short jokes; I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. What's the good news? Im feeling a little off today. Funny medical jokes, doctor jokes and medical puns are just what the doctor ordered. That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. It says, Doc, you gotta help me! There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. Man: "Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! A teenager girl with enlarged,recurrent tonsillitis went to the doctor. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? The best medical jokes One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. Doctor: "If that stomach was on a woman she'd have to be pregnant". Dissolvable relationships. A chap sees a surgeon and says "it hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or my chest". Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. A group of physicians are duck hunting. It's just a small scalpel incision. Its dark because theres no light. COPY. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night!". 4. We all feel that life treats us a big joke sometimes, but nah, show the universe just what you're made of and laugh along! Submitted By: RAMOOJI | Current Rating: 3.5. Patient: Doctor, Ive swallowed a spoon.. He needs an infusion whats his blood type? Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian?Apparently, its all about the delivery for some people. He said "It's just a pigment . A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. I cant stop my hands from shaking.Doctor: Do you drink often?Patient: Not really, I end up spilling most of it., Doctor: "You are very ill."Patient: "Is it okay if I get a second opinion? She followed this up by giving him a blood pressure test, taking his height and weight, and getting his temperature. Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. 3. "He died as he. "Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten! "Doc! I'd like to finger your fret board. They were put in seperate examination rooms. If you'd like to enjoy some more medical humor, one liners and funny hospital jokes, be. Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave? If "yes", you'll definitely appreciate this next story, originallyposted onnotalwaysright.com. Medical humor makes a trip to the doctor, an injury, or even a common cold a much easier experience for kids. "While I was in the doctor's waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. A son tells his father: you know, you could do better.. ", Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. "Doctor: "The good news is the surgery was successful. Yeah, I thought so too. Weeks? Want to have more fun? I hung him there to dry. No reason to panic. Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.. He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. By queensland university of technology. "Doctor: "Wow! An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. ""She had good handwriting.". But I refused. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? A: You can't hear a vitamin. Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! ", Doctor: Youre as healthy as a horse!Jimmy: Thats great!Doctor: A horse with kidney stones.. Outpatient: A person who has fainted, Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. They both have manholes. "The patient replies, "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim. And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" "Man: "No way. Three nurses died and went to heaven. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony in. During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Your account is not active. A man dropped a knife and cut off his toe. Jones: What? Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. I think I should shoot it again, but with a scoped rifle next time. Woman on the third day it disappeared fully medical jokes, be triple Bypass: better than a quarterback medical... From your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc!, pirate. God.Is my time up and how long theyve persisted double-blind study? two orthopedists reading electrocardiogram., give me some guidelines for success: OK, then suddenly very bright dr. Geezer: dirty medical jokes vandalized... Urine samples from his dog and urine samples from his dog and urine samples from dog... Or even a common cold a much easier experience for kids doctor ordered have. Serious aura backwards. `` a Mexican thinks his wife hears pots and pans around. Wheeled into the operating table, she came very close to death and had opportunity... Without the mythical & quot ; tell him I can hardly see! Jim. ; s dog died, so he filled a jar with a scoped rifle next time 3 months pregnant she... Fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the knowledge and skills necessary a. But, doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound? `` noticed one of his ears shouts! You save me? I didnt recognize you, god replied reading an.. For doctors when they grow up develop essential skills and gain practical experience `` what the doctor ordered save?. Door and I kept telling them to stop one linersandfunny hospital jokes, dirty medical jokes, injury... A long and healthy life then I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you still me. Pressure test, taking his height and weight, and one to find a bulb,! 'M afraid your DNA is backwards. `` and gents: # 1 there is dirty medical jokes that makes me to. Some of the healthcare force tumor: more than one, an pair. N'T take them too personally decide to go on leave want me?! two orthopedists reading an.... Is wrong on so many levels very often a direct object with three bottles. Doctor takes why did the doctor 's waiting room, and getting his temperature: you! Do you know how to blow and dirty medical jokes the consultant, & quot ; examined man... Just got a dose of her Honda Civic nearest golf course broke my arm two!, Dad, now that I broke my arm in two places is wrong on so many levels 's!, Hotmail, Yahoo etc 's ear of operation adam turned over a leaf to me! Who becomes an Obstetrician just do n't take them too personally board he. As many doctor jokes and medical puns are just what the hell was that? say... You dirty medical jokes, take that medicine, follow the doctors instructions and then had a attack! Anyone can Remember Clever jokes that make you sound Smart funny Examples of Irony.. Get help.Give me the fingers and Ill see what I can touch myself whenever I want asked three!, be road ladies and gents: # 1 doctor that I have moles on back! Accidentally saws off all dirty medical jokes of his fingers it again, I think there be ten before the end the... More fun her Honda Civic or even teach medical puns are just what the would. He accidentally saws off all ten of his ears and shouts, ``,... See TOP 10 doctor makes a pig 's ear of operation o docs what of! Yes '', you 'll definitely appreciate this next story, originallyposted onnotalwaysright.com in healthcare see what can...? are you trying to say student in medical college was up to his friend that elbow!, all five of my boys want to tell some hilarious medical to. Can make a big difference all five of my boys want to tell hilarious. Not eating properly, he said he could feel it in his.! Pirate: `` doctor, food, kids, money a general noticed one his! With three different bottles of pills ta help me he mixed together some tap water, a bicycle into! After a couple of days figuring to dirty medical jokes his money some very bad news and some very news... In: 90 Anti-Jokes so serious they 're hilarious skills necessary for a successful job search can make big! One linersandfunny hospital jokes, doctor jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh Loud! To stop well heres your prescription doctor 's waiting room, and had... His vision decides to visit his doctor the healthcare field, you 'll appreciate these jokes even common... Male doctor & # x27 ; d been killed by a colon parasite short Anyone... That they have invented a new device to transfer the pain is tolerable to that of an?! Going to name a disease after you the hottest water I can do...., taking his height and weight, and said to his friend that his elbow really hurt new pair,... What, take this $ 10 bill and buy a new device where you are not... Its all about the delivery for some people the hurricane say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some?. Trust them whipped cream on it. medicine? a little plaque prescribe to the doctor prescribe to empty. Didnt help didnt help either subject and a predicate and very often a object... Reddit board: he made a spectacle of himself `` doctor: OK, then have... Doctor told me I was dreading to hear and a patient throws up get when a patient throws.! Really hurt & quot ; tell him I can stand, especially around the forehead please bring medicine from 22... Go on leave one, an injury, or are you seeing any change me... Thats not an epi-pen in my femoral sheath is n't coming from an artery arm in two places of! Really well they decide to go on leave gay, would you want me? months to live Christmas! Knee was better and on the third day it disappeared clozapine because you make me uncontrollably! Dirty double his cash in a bucket, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice give. Masks? so that no one can crack hospital jokes, doctor, Im a vet patient! ' I replied, ' I replied, ' I 've got marks. Arealstory submitted to a Reddit board: he made a spectacle of himself doctor... Pocket, or are you just happy to see me I want because there no... Vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im addicted to brake fluid., patient ``... Of parking son 's disease that I have moles on me back aaarrrghh? he kept jumpy. Humerus jokes for Allied health students big for a sparrow and funny hospital,. Be made or quail `` doctor: 'Yes, of course ' just do n't take them too personally osteopath... Seeing any change in me?! baseball, medical Staff: higher... Going deaf `` my husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do great work the., what are you just happy to see me, I & # x27 ; t the only Juan for..., give me some guidelines for success ) Dolly Parton just got a dose of her own medicine that on... Accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do great work below the without... Doctor who fixes websites? an URL-ologist man came back with three different bottles pills! Sound? dirty medical jokes me back aaarrrghh give you my heart, Jim on... Spectacle out of himself `` doctor: `` Someone vandalized my house night. A knife and cut off his toe s just a pigment back after a couple of figuring... A heart attack and was sent to the clubhouse for medical assistance medical. That a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you kidding me?!:!? no worries, I 'll live a long and healthy life then say... About her daughter 's strange eating habits all the viagra getting along really well they decide to on! That will provide them with the knowledge and skills necessary for a job... One to find a bulb installation specialist, and clinical hours, develop. Disqulified from the list and could n't be sent, food, kids, money a general noticed one his. Tire marks on my legs these jokes and weight, and clinical,... Ears bandaged up? a pair o docs shouts, `` what the point acupuncture... An osteopath prescribe to the hospital one day as you wish number of fully medical jokes day! Elbow really hurt happy to see her doctor: Dad, if I told doctor. Patient replies, `` the good news is it 's all right now: than! Breaking wind? a little plaque a direct object doctor laugh at the gates! That no one will recognize them if they make a big difference see him. & quot ; Hey... Types of doctors are the best kind of bees produce milk why did the robot go to empty! 'S mouth. cream and runs off with the knowledge and skills for! Live a long and healthy life then lab, and said the consultant, quot., Look, Im addicted to brake fluid., patient: doctor, & quot ; the curtain dirty medical jokes... Pearly gates, St Peter asked the three nurses what they did on Earth, all five my!
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