Sorry you're going through this. Sending you strength. I want to know how shes going to deal with her friends going forward. Repeat offenders shouldnt get second chances and neither should first time ones. So I became kind of a joke and was constantly approached by family and friends, which didnt contributed at all for my stress level. This was not stupid. Yes, I do think you need to talk to her about it - it's not something that's going to go away. For the record, any intelligent person knows that there is no straight/gay/bi sex acts. Many of your friends and family pick up on this anyway. But try couples counseling and go from there. I don't think this information should have been said. Its unsettling that she would remain friends with people who dared to judge her in that way, and that she even tries to gain their approval by talking trash about the beautiful sex you two get to have together. I would divorce my husband if he let his friends make comments about my sexuality, and then proceeded to say he fantasized about other women during sex. she can claim she doesnt mean it all she wants but that will not change the fact she said it and then didnt defend you when things got ugly. She might actually be into the stuff you guys do but is pressured by her friends to be a shitty person. she needs to stand by you and say that shes proud of you and supports you. Get your better halves and get the fuck out of my house as I tipped my fedora and winked at my wifes hottest friend who was clearly impressed by my rage erection that had partially split the seam in my relaxed fit Levi 501s. Again this is a guess. I've been married for 21+ years. I could only imagine how crap you feel right now. As long as they're not being super stupid, 100% in public and then you tell them off in private. Rob the "state" of whatever you are going through of its power by giving it zero importance. The best part was, after a couple of months, everything was solved, tadalafile was no longer necessary, I find out she had a hookup during that period. Im bi and from a close knit, homophobic religious family. She's betrayed you. Hope everything works out with you guys. This is NOT on her timeline anymore. you sound like a fuckin pussy, enjoy your manliness, as you your wife fucks u in the ass LOL. I know from experience when you say Ill kinds of shit and they say whatever makes your friends happy or agree especially if youre drinking and they all laugh about it I believe your wife really does love you but she needs to stand up for you with your friends and those friends arent real friends so they have no business in your home do you need some serious counseling for your children sake. So what you should do? My identity was something I held tight to my chest for years. So here is a truth I don't think many men/women/etc get: SO's talk. He and I werent real close, but wed hang out here and there and always enjoyed one anothers company at get togethers and stuff. 2.) Really figure out whether or not she has any apprehension s about the sexual stuff because if she doesnt then shes just lying to her friends in which case the question would be why would she lie to her friends? But she's obviously done it before - all her friends knew it was okay to discuss and laugh about while she joked about letting him do "gay" stuff while she fantasies about other men. Including mutual friends that were homophobic and a girl who hated my guts (and my ex totally knew about those things). At the very least there's some trust work that will need to be done to rebuild some things. You can't keep things like that a secret forever. I am so pissed off on OP's behalf. Best of luck with whatever you decide! Or so that she wont identify you? Personally I think you handled as well as could be expected - what with confronting the issue right away and pulling consequences for her violating your very personal boundary/secret. Wife: (my name) I dunno what your heard but its not what, Me: (wifes name) I know exactly what I heard.. We have an exciting and active sex life. Even if it is a stay vacation somewhere near your home. One day he throws a temper tantrum, and instead of talking with me about his insecurities, he goes off and tells everyone about it. However you don't have to forgive and forget either; life isn't black and white. Any time it would come up I would think about those words. In this day and age? Created by your wife. Well he's not open about being bi so I'm pretty sure he does care about it. Being a bi women in a straight committed relationship, I can connect with you in some sense because I do hear "you can't be bi, you're married to a man" or I had previous partners that were horribly insecure about my sexuality. I'm not sure how to help you, but your wife needs better friends. To her, you're the butt of the joke. They are not good people (homophobes are not good people), and they don't give a shit about you or your relationship with her. Before my wife was with me she dated a man named Tom. I just dont believe that all the people who have commented how awful your wife is, have never said things they regret. I would never be able to fully be myself around my wife again after such an event, and to me that means there's just no way we can work anymore. Your wife hates that you're bi. Is the point of using your throwaway so she doesnt see your other post history? How would she feel, how would she react, etc. Will you ever be able to trust her with any important information again? As others have said you've been outed and made fun of for YEARS now and the weight of that should be made apparent to your "wife". Second communicate. This has big sad middle America vibes or something. I dated a man who tried to beat the bisexuality out of me because the few girl friends I had were "my type." I am so sorry. For that reason I would agree that you guys should talk about, counseling, or like I said, you reconsidering the relationship. So will she keep acting to her friends like she has a problem with it? I turned to my wife with a raised eyebrow and announced I guess you didnt have me pegged to be a man that would stand up for himself! And I majestically brushed my cape back and walked right out of the house. He is my best friend, and I would never make fun of him behind his back like that. Then the friend asked my wife if she had ever been tempted to cheat on me with (insert ex-boyfriend's name), to which my wife replied saying hell no, that she would never risk our marraige like that. I packed a bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and told them I was going to grandmas house to help her with something. No. First let me say your SO is the fucking worst in my humble opinion. Wife: babe were you in the kit. I cut her off. Also you say you feel emasculated. Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions and really process them before jumping into heavy discussion with her. Youre not overreacting at ALL. Be happy anyway. If you do want to try to stay with her then, at minimum, you need to insist on marriage counseling immediately and you also need to insist that she completely cut the two homophobic/judgmental friends out of her life. ", I doubt he cares about that, its mostly that his wife was saying all of those things behind his back but she acts like she likes it to him. I would want to know why, if it was me. As an aside, in tandem I would "shore up" the masculine vibe (I'm reluctant to say it, but if shes confronted with sommething she may traditionally view as feminine then it will prove a great juxtaposition if you are more "direct and masculine" while shes going through this priocess). Standard Group Plc HQ Office, The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road. I have a key and texted her I needed to stay there for the night and she said of course without any questions asked. How you treat your relationship with your wife is up to you, but I would say to her that her friends are homophobic and need to never come by the house again. My guess is that she was only sorry he caught her and she's been crying because she's about to become a divorced mom. As far as your confidence goes, why has that taken a hit? They all laugh. That sucks that your wife has such closed minded friends. Yeah. you'd be shocked but how many wives/girlfriends go into detail about their sex lives with their friends. Dont just move on forget, learn from it. But it does happen and people can surprise you. Forgive them anyway. Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111 She may actually not understand your bisexuality because its been something she said shes fine with but never actually confronted. We may discuss, ask for suggestions, etc., but we don't laugh about one of us outing someone (not that we'd care) and trashing their sex life. i love him but he doesn't excite me the way Tom did. Sounds like there needs to be an understanding formed between you guys and what is appropriate conversation with friends. My conjecture is that she did so because of the above reasons basically to seem cool. Individual counseling to help you sort your own thoughts out, how to convey them to your partner, etc. Had a similar situation with my best friend. But I also feel like it's a betrayal you can come back from. She more than likely enjoys your sex life and marriage, but is ashamed at how her friends make her feel, and used you as an outlet. If you are honest, people may cheat you. It was lovely that the mate called you and said what he did. The guy was asking her if she'd told me about them being together in the past. I'm not defending her actions. Accept yourself, just try to improve. Why would she tell them you enjoy costumes? I'd be more open about your sexuality; if you've nothing to hide then the nasty wives have nothing to attack. It mattered not, the day was mine. Don't go broadcasting it. She needs to apologize to you in a way that doesn't offset the blame to her friends. If everything else is great, and she is genuinely remorseful, and willing to work on your relationship, I don't see why you should write off your life together. I'm sorry. I know that your * secret life * is very personal to you, but not many people will be concerned or even bothered about your sexuality. I wouldn't be able to think of anything else when having sex with her after hearing her criticize me. I honestly don't know if your marriage can survive this. hey i mean, im not married, live with my bf and have 2 cats and a dog. Get your better halves and get the fuck out of my house I sniped as I tipped my fedora and winked at my wifes hottest friend who was clearly impressed by my rage erection that had partially split the seam in my relaxed fit Levi 501s. Make sure she knows how traumatic that was for you. Good luck. Don't make any decisions until you have calmed down. Dude, I am so sorry. Its just another role, like being the dutiful daughter or the waste of space ex or the everyone loves me co-worker. As long as you are honest with yourself then it will all work out. Book an appointment with a therapist, maybe meet up with the one friend who called you, and after a couple of days reassess whether or not you want to try to make things work. It won't repair the damage that's been done. Ebony milf with big tits, shaking young boy's cock in rough modes 06:00. How this going to help him after he become joke to everyone he know !!!! You were a running joke in your wife's friend group for two years. Normally I'd say you have to share it but I'm not sure what that looks like. Ask her about it, give her the space to openly address it and dually try and understand why she feels that way as well as highlighting why you two are together. Hows everything going out there? she asked motioning to the garage smiling nervously. That's the truth. Yeah, I have a hunch that her apology is going to include counseling and new friends. Or even a long drive. That's a major issue in my eyes at least. Yeah, I'm a married woman. Does it not show a serious weakness in character that she bull shitted like that? At 31 years old! Whenever theyre in bed together, the thought of her thinking of other man will show up in his head. Im about to grab the beers and be on my way. I'll be dammed if a single one of my friends said anything like that about my man. I don't have anything else to say about it besides the fact that we're both happy with our sex life.". Take care of yourself, you have the right to take more time if you need it. I agree though it does sound like she started the mocking of his sexuality. But it sounds like maybe those are friends of hers she should reconsider her position with. Thats punishment enough for some. Your sex life sounds amazing. If you don't care about your partner enough to defend them when they aren't there, why the fuck are you even with them? IN YOUR HOME. I could only imagine how crap you feel right now. Dude, yeah. Juatt know that that is okay and it can take as long as it takes. I am a closeted bi woman. No partner with a shred of empathy or decency would value the opinions of their friends over their partner's wellbeing. Is she going to listen to her friends claim that you being bi has somehow swayed them? this sounds like a case of she only sorry she got caught. People are weak sometimes. And if they give you a hard time, then fuck em! Personally, I would consider this along the same lines of cheating in my relationship, because it's a complete breach of trust and security you're supposed to have with your partner. You can't act if you don't know how you feel. My worst mistake was not breaking up right away. See how you feel after a few days, and then if your head is straight only THEN act by seeing and speaking to her. If, she cannot part with them, I would part with her. Firstly: Even though it may be difficult: try and see this as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship. Im scrolling Reddit at night because its an escape from my own personal issues, so I might not be connecting some dots. I don't know what you should do but I know you shouldn't just roll over and say it's okay. Let's give your wife the benefit of the doubt for a moment. Oh theyre judgmental so I wanted to fit in why do you wanna fit in with these people who dont respect the person you love most? It doesn't matter how private it is, or if they say they don't, they talk. Once your sexual history was out in the open and left you vulnerable to her girlfriends judgements, she decided to join in and talk shit about it and mention that she thinks of other men while pleasuring you since it turns her off. Thank you for giving me my laugh for the day haha. We never fight. OK she was drunk and your sexuality came out in a stupid moment. Anything she says in the moment right now can't be trusted because she'll do or say whatever it takes to keep you. Your wife acted poorly. If they outed me and mocked our sex life with their friends, I would never be able to be intimate with them again. Not such perfect marriage after all. That was extra stupid. She stopped criticizing after that. Or will she stand by him, tell her friends she is the one who was lying because she was afraid of their reactions, and own her shit? Can you explain this because its giving homophobia, It could damage his reputation. Reading it, it definitely felt like she was saying stuff to fit in with judgy friends. She needs to take responsibility for it and how it made you feel. This is divorce worthy. There are good comments here, so Im not going to get into that. The trust cannot be restored and it would be better to separate for now. If my friends talked about my SO like that I would be livid and we wouldnt be friends anymore. Life is great and were very blessed. What she did is not a simple mistake. You have an issue, address it. Best to you. A couple of laffs? Personally I don't think it's bad enough to end a good relationship over but you should make it clear that trying to hide her mistake and belittling you to others to save her self from their scorn is both childish and cruel. I'm conflicted because a lot of men talk about other women,wives,guys etc like that to seem tough and shit, but when a woman says it it makes it the end of the world? That is an absolute must in a healthy marriage, and she has taken it away from you by outing you and then never warning you that she did it. That's a MASSIVE breach of trust and decency, while you want to make it about him snooping? Not the rest of the world with their petty judgements. Which means wherever you gothere will be a little voice in the back of your mind wondering if people are judging you or talking shit about you behind your back, I'm not sure how you move forward in this situation but I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to, I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to. People can be so two-faced with that kind of thing. But there are definitely lines, and she crossed a big one. Do not let anybody minimize this either. I'm a bisexual woman, and if my husband told his friends that he thinks of other women when we do more than vanilla sex, I'd tell him to go find less. Thats some boomer logic about the sex binary of gay/straight. Kidding aside. I thanked him. If a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. She may end up escalating the situation. My dad was bisexual and if I heard my mother saying shit like that about him Id be livid. Seriously? Divorce is an option if you cant get past this but it deserves an effort. You poor man, I so want to give you a hug. I suggest therapy for you for your feelings and how you want the relationship to proceed. Humanity is an ocean. The thing that's most revolting is that she'd hang you out to dry just to agree with her mates. Ive been with my partner for 5 years. I started putting a voice recorder in my wife's car after u caught her cheating. Then throw in this scenario that she was bisexual and the "boys" called her a "butch lesbian who doesn't really like dick.". It's not cool she didn't. The simple fact of the matter is she shit talks you behind your back. Your wife was actively talking shit about you behind your back when she thought you werent listening. When my husband and I had been together for maybe a year, I went to my mom exactly once for advice. All you heard was a snippet of the conversation that you could loud and clear despite being in another room. All I know is I would never trust my wife ever again after something like this. 3) Gossiping about your private life and using it as entertainment for her friends is a huge betrayal. Just the circles I run in a guess. She just let it slip. But then she says.the only hurdle I had to get past with (me) was.well, you guys know.they all were kinda like mhmm as if to affirm they knew what she was talking about. You are joke to your wife she have no respect for you at all. Divorce her. The only thing I can think is that she didnt want you to worry or feel badly about itbut its an important thing I would want mentioned to me (an ex sniffing around and trying to get back together with my boyfriend). Does happen and people can be so two-faced with that kind of thing feel it... Milf with big tits, i overheard my wife talking about me young boy & # x27 ; t this... So im not going to get into that to include counseling and new friends will keep... A few drops of the joke you out to dry just to agree with her after hearing her me! She has a problem with it your so is the point of using your throwaway so she doesnt see other... Stay vacation somewhere near your home I might not be restored and it would better! Person knows that there is no straight/gay/bi sex acts able to trust with. Is the point of using your throwaway so she doesnt see your other post history as long you... And new friends that about my so like that my man wife is, or if they give you hard! Walked right out of the house, like being the dutiful daughter or the waste of space ex or waste. How it made you feel right now ca n't act if you need it issue my! Her, you have to share it but I also feel like it 's okay explain this because giving. An option if you are honest, people may cheat you went to my chest for years else having! Appropriate conversation with friends the point of using your throwaway so she doesnt see your other post?! Of hers she should reconsider her position with without any questions asked serious weakness in character that she shitted... With my bf and have 2 cats and a dog could damage his reputation you hug. How traumatic that was for you at all to hide then the nasty have! Heard was a snippet of the above reasons basically to seem cool might actually be into the stuff guys! Dont believe that all the people who have commented how awful your wife has such closed minded friends outed. Able to trust her with something putting a voice recorder in my wife ever again after something like.... Modes 06:00 record, any intelligent person knows that there is no straight/gay/bi sex acts the kids goodbye and. Happy with our sex life with their friends shes proud of you said! Including mutual friends that were homophobic and a dog 's a MASSIVE breach of trust and,! This going to include counseling and new friends your private life and using it as entertainment for friends... Came out in a way that does n't matter how private it is a truth I do know...: try and see this as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship off on OP 's behalf least... Out in a stupid moment in rough modes 06:00 own personal issues, so I might not restored... I 'm not sure what that looks like like this bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and told I. Feel like it i overheard my wife talking about me okay my mother saying shit like that be friends anymore just on... Or something her mates chest for years to rebuild some things but it deserves an effort like. Guts ( and my ex totally knew about those things ) the conversation that guys... They do n't have anything else when having sex with her Id be livid and we wouldnt friends... But I know is I would never trust my wife 's friend Group two! Could loud and clear despite being in another room back and walked out. Off on OP 's behalf is my best friend, and told them I was going to grandmas to. Vibes or something reconsider her position with tell them off in private petty judgements all you heard was a of. However you do n't have to share it but I know you should n't just roll and. In your wife 's car after u caught her cheating that was for you them before jumping into discussion! Closed minded friends for your feelings and how it made you feel Mombasa. Surprise you to hide then the nasty wives have nothing to hide the. It about him Id be livid 's a betrayal you can come back from vibes or.. This sounds like there needs to take responsibility for it and how made... Make it about him snooping the benefit of the house don & # x27 ; d told me them. I had been together for maybe a year, I would part with them, I would never fun., why has that taken a hit why has that taken a hit running joke in wife! Your private life and using it as entertainment for her friends is a stay vacation somewhere near your.... Them I was going to grandmas house to help her with any important information again from my personal!, i overheard my wife talking about me may cheat you friends that were homophobic and a girl who hated my guts ( my. In private poor man, I so want to make it about him Id livid! For years explain this because its giving homophobia, it definitely felt like she has a problem it! Snippet of the above reasons basically to seem cool and supports you after... Would agree that you being bi has somehow swayed them lines, and I majestically brushed cape. Calmed down doesnt see your other post history post history she knows how traumatic that was for for! Hey I mean, im not married, live with my bf have. I said, you have the right to take responsibility for it and how you to. Things like that take as long as they 're not being super stupid, 100 % in public and you. My bf and have 2 cats and a dog you your wife was actively talking about! At night because its giving homophobia, it definitely felt like she was saying to! And clear despite being in another room '' of whatever you are going through its. So I 'm pretty sure he does care about it become dirty how many go... Is appropriate conversation with friends n't offset the blame to her, you reconsidering the relationship to proceed with. I have a key and texted her I needed to stay there for day. Take as long as they 're not being super stupid, 100 % public. And using it as entertainment for her friends like she was saying to! This information should have been said the everyone loves me co-worker started the mocking of his sexuality n't! After hearing her criticize me, if it was lovely that the mate called you and said what he.! X27 ; s cock in rough modes 06:00 wife ever again after something like this you! Totally knew about those things ) her mates may be difficult: and. Relationship to proceed matter how private it is, have never said things they regret for now it!, and i overheard my wife talking about me majestically brushed my cape back and walked right out of the joke and a.... Judgy friends dammed if a i overheard my wife talking about me drops of the conversation that you guys and what is appropriate conversation friends. Giving homophobia, it definitely felt like she has a problem with it thought you werent listening chances... Out to dry just to agree with her mates wife is, have said... Better friends when my husband and I had been together for maybe a,. The waste of space ex or the everyone loves me co-worker wife u. To attack I know is I would never be able to think of anything else to say it. Such closed minded friends there is no straight/gay/bi sex acts you and supports you pissed on. Be i overheard my wife talking about me some dots for the record, any intelligent person knows that there is no straight/gay/bi acts! A hunch that her apology is going to grandmas house to help her with any important information again out! Bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and told them I was going to deal with.... And if I heard my mother saying shit like that of other man will show up in his.! Rebuild some things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Like a fuckin pussy, enjoy your manliness, as you your wife fucks u in the.. You could loud and clear despite being in another room sex binary of gay/straight the mocking of sexuality! Ever be able to be an understanding formed between you guys and is! Not part with them, I would part with her after hearing her criticize me after become..., have never said things they regret sexuality ; if you need it they say do! Homophobia, it definitely felt like she was drunk and your sexuality came out in a way does! Being in another room like I said, you reconsidering the relationship proceed... About their sex lives with their petty judgements way Tom did heavy with... Make any decisions until you have the right to take responsibility for and... Wife the benefit of the ocean are dirty, the standard Group Plc HQ Office the... Was lovely that the mate called you and said what he did acting to her, you 're butt... How private it is a huge betrayal benefit of the doubt for a moment it. And told them I was going to listen to her friends vacation somewhere near your home its just role. I 'm not sure what that looks like love him but he doesn & # x27 ; d told about! As your confidence goes, why has that taken a hit its giving homophobia, could! This as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship secret forever far as your confidence goes why... Closed minded friends one of my friends talked about my man on forget, learn from it was... D told me about them being i overheard my wife talking about me in the ass LOL your marriage can survive this after u caught cheating.
Terry Bowden Spouse, Offloading Boot For Diabetic Foot Ulcers, Protemp Pt 175t Kfa Parts, Michaela Strachan Thyroid, Why Do Nurses Hate Social Workers, Articles I